Things That I Miss
Guess. . .
No, actually it’s not bourbon. Although, if you were to have asked me what I THOUGHT I would miss most two-and-a-half months ago, I would have guessed that too. I am finding that I miss things I didn’t even know I cared for at all.
I miss ibuprofin. Now, I didn’t eat Advil like candy or anything, but it was sure nice to have a go-to drug when a head ache decided to sprout. Now my options are Tylenol and taking a nice, long, hot bath to relax. Both of which are equally useless. Why do they even make Tylenol? I’m finding that not only do I think Tylenol is a joke, but I’m actually getting mad at it. Like feelings of rage. Why does it insist on making false-promises? Why?
I miss being able to suck it in. You know. . . the gut. I’m not really showing yet. And while I haven’t gained any extra weight, it seems like things are shifting and becoming different textures. Now my little pooch of fat is kind of hard and immobile. I have always felt that even when I’m carrying around more weight than I’d like, I always had the ol’ ace in the whole. Justin Timberlake walks by, I could look pretty damn good for at least 15 seconds. Granted, I wasn’t breathing for those 15 seconds. Asphyxiation. . . looking hott. . . asphyxiation. . . looking hott. . . yeah, see, even now. Looking hott trumps all.
I miss cleaning the cat box. Oh wait, no I don’t. SIKE!
I miss good hips. Not in the way of WOW! those are some really “shapely” looking hips but in the way of what the hell happened to you, hips?! What is this?! If I don’t think about it, I’m okay, but as soon as it enters my brain (like right now) all I can concentrate on is how abnormal they feel. I constantly have the urge to crack them or pop them, but I when I try, nothing happens. And then, THEN, when I go to bed it suddenly feels like they’re fused to my lower back and all I can think about is how much I want THAT to crack. It’s all so stupid. Good, unitchy, uncracky hips are totally under-rated.
I miss Disneyland. For many reasons. One of which is the fact that I always miss Disneyland, unless I am there. It’s an illness really, one that I inherited from my father. The second reason is that even if I was in Disneyland, at this very moment, all I would be able to do is go on stupid rides that make you puke. Like the teacups. There would be no Space Mountain, no Tower of Terror, no Califonia Screamin’, no Thunder Mountain Railroad! I have to stop. Just thinking about it makes me get all worked up.
So anyway, there it is.
Oh! Looking ahead, Brandon and I will have our first official listen to the baby appointment on April 15. That should be pretty exciting. I should find a way to record the WHHOW WHHOW WHHOW heartbeat noise and post it! We will see.
9 weeks
I’m very happy about this post. And I can’t really resist the urge to comment FIRST! like you’re Perez Hilton. You’re my Perez Hilton.
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoI miss clear skin.
I have never had so many zits in my life. I hate it.
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoI almost added that to the list. I hate zits. It’s like my worst day in high school times 59274876.
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoI never even got this many in high school. Never. In my life. And I can’t use anything to get rid of it. UGH.
Posted 2 years, 10 months agoFIRST!!!
(ok, so I know I’m not first, but Perez Hilton always has the handful of people who think they all posted first but turns out the time it took them to write FIRST!!! was actually longer than the time it took all those other people to write FIRST!!! and therefore they ended up posting FIRST!!! in like the 7th spot. But at least I’m only second… at least I think I’m second…!… I better hurry it up!!!)
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoOMG. Third. Not even second. You ARE Perez Hilton!
and I miss sleeping on my gut. and I love you.
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoI TOTALLY miss sleeping on my stomach! This sleeping on your side crap is horrible.
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoI grew up in a tylenol family….I vividly remember the first time I took advil, it was like a wonder drug and why had no one told me about this before!? I still give my Mom a hard time for only keeping tylenol in the house when we were growing up…wtf Mom?
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoSeriously. Tylenol is a sick, sick joke. Too bad you don’t like sweets ’cause I found over time that you could numb your senses into nothing if you ate enough Ben & Jerry’s Pistachio ice cream in one sitting. It’s like when babies cry in the hospital with the heel poking and they give them sugar water ’cause it makes your brain high…fat and sugar. Nature’s ibuprofen.
Oh, but it makes you fat. Not foolproof.
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agobritta- i think we are pregnancy twins. i only hope you don’t come down with an evil cough (as i did around 12 weeks in.) as a result, you would experience many a cough medicine that is EQUALLY as ineffective as Tylenol, if at all it possible.
i realized that they only let pregnant ladies take drugs that are absofreakinglutely useless.
i miss: sleeping though the night. while i think this is nature’s evil way of slowly getting your body adjusted to waking in the night to care for your offspring, really i just want these last 9 months to be the last blissful nights of sleep for the forseeable future. alas: first it was getting up to pee 2-3 times a night, and now it’s waking every hour or so to switch sides (’cause the hips start to hurt, so i have to keep trading.)
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoAll I can say is “and so it begins!” there is going to be many many more posts like this one. Your list will grow and grow right along with you sista!
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoAnd soon you will add to the list:
sleeping on your stomach
sleeping on your back (even if you don’t really do that)
high heels
Just remember: this is a beautiful gift. You are creating life;-)
How come I always post comments last?
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoAm I a bad friend?
1. You haven’t seen anything yet – If you actually had time to blog (is that how you say it? I have never been involved with one before)… after you had the baby the list of what you miss would be 10 miles long.
2. My hips are still not back to normal – I think good hips just go away.
3. Things to look forward to:-)Trimester 3 = fabulous sex dreams, people are really nice to you (cuts in line, smiling at you for no reason), ummmmm yah…. that is about it.
-Can you please add your number of weeks to each blog (is that what these individual messages from you are? Or, is a blog the entire site?
I see Britta’s first movie script coming. Or book.
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoI have this fantasy: Some day, while enjoying a pleasant afternoon walk through Disneyland, with blue skies overhead, my lovely wife at my side, and our beautiful baby in the stroller before us, the hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stand on end and a shiver of anticipatory adrenaline courses down my spine… I turn toward Britta just in time to see her inhale and hold for what I instinctively know will be 15 seconds of sexy-sucking-it-in. My jaw clenches. My heart begins to pound in my chest. Just as she completes her premeditated man-lure maneuver, I watch as her eyes lock into place, fixed on something -or someone- just behind me. Turning to follow her gaze, my own eyes narrow and my hands tighten to bricks of rage as I find exactly what I expect: none other than that two-bit, vertically-challenged, overly-fashion-conscious, white-boy-aphro-sporting little weasel of a man, Justin Timberlake! With the yell of a Viking warrior I leap upon his diminutive frame like a carnivorous beast upon its unsuspecting prey, furiously pounding the cuteness out of that chatoyant smile and the dreaminess out of those seductive eyes. My fists rain down the fury of millions of jealous men and threatened spouses, blow after crushing blow, each inflicting greater pain than the one before. With every strike, I systematically and methodically take his sexy back, along with his very will to live, forever relieving him both of his boyish charm and any further need for the services of those in the dental profession. The entire accomplishment takes exactly 14.5 seconds, requires almost no effort whatsoever, and I return to my family and our lovely stroll through the sunny Magic Kingdom completely unblemished, just in time to hear my wife expel the breath she had been holding. With that exhale, I find myself not only pleased with the knowledge that had I done a great service for husbands and boyfriends everywhere, but also blissfully content knowing that never again would my bride have to concern herself with remaining prepared to, at a moment’s notice, produce a charm through the manipulation of her respiration that will somehow create an impossibly sexier version of herself ever again.
| Posted 2 years, 10 months agoholy crap that was a hilarious story Brandon. Britta I am loving your posts SO much. Thank you for all the sharing. You are one funny cookie.
| Posted 2 years, 10 months ago